Have you ever heard the saying, “ New year, new me?” Of course you have because as soon as that clock strikes midnight, that is the statement everyone wants to live by. Then a few months go by and the weight isn’t coming off fast enough or your new career path isn’t going how you thought it would. Life is funny that way you know? We tend to just give up if we aren’t getting the results we want right away. This is exactly what I experienced in 2018.
The beginning of the year started off great. We had just welcomed our second child into the world, we both had jobs that we enjoyed for the most part, money was steady, and it just seemed like the year was gonna be a good one. Then in May, it seemed like everything seemed to take a turn. My marriage was taking a hard hit, my husband was dealing with demons that I couldn’t quite help him with. Not long after that I made the decision to leave my job and then the depression started to set in.
You know that feeling when you get in the pit of your stomach, the one when you start trying to figure out how you got to such a low point. You find yourself sitting on the floor while your babies are napping, looking at them and thinking, “ I failed you.” Well I’m here to tell you, there is hope. There is hope for the girl out there who has given it her all, whether it was a relationship or a job and feels like she failed. You have it in you to pick yourself up and say “not today Satan.” It’s easier said than done, I know but God has done big things in my life before and I am going to keep trusting that big things are coming! So get up, kick off that hurt that is knocking you down right now and shower yourself in some hope.
You got this, there is a warrior inside all of us!
Change is inevitable. The world and life in it are constantly moving, reshaping, refocusing … changing. So many of us view change as bad. We don’t like it and we sometimes fight against it with everything we’ve got. We neglect to remember there are just as many positive changes as negative and often positive outcomes develop as a result of what we view as the negative change.
For instance, as it was clear my marriage was failing I grew. I grew in the understanding of myself, I grew in faith, I grew in confidence. I grew! I have gained new friendships and even enjoyed some fun times I never would have had if I not been separated. I have even found my inner artist. The ending of the marriage was devastating. More because it feels not only like rejection but also failure and I hate to fail at anything, but none the less it was over. I could have buried myself in deep. I could have taken months even years to get over it. I could have spent the rest of my lifetime devastated. Instead, I spent countless hours asking God to show me what positive outcome would come out of a situation I could see nothing good in and He did just that. He unfolded and revealed things in me I had no idea were there. In addition He also developed a brave warrior spirit that is willing and ready now to fight for all He he has for me. He showed me a new boldness and where I would have layed down and let people walk on me in the past, I am no longer willing to take anyone’s S@*t! A brave new woman who is no longer willing to play the nice girl and allow others to inflict their own plan on her life. He took everything I thought would crush me and used it to build an alter that I would never ever ever forget the things He has done for me, through me and in me.
I’d be interested to hear, what experience have you had that at the time felt terrible and in the end turned out to be positive?
I will be the first to tell you I’ve been down this road before … and by road I mean, I’ve started a blog. Well, actually I’ve started a couple and just eventually stopped writing. I can honestly say with my past blogs I was indecisive in the story I felt called to tell. Today, I at least know the direction I am heading and so a new journey begins and as the scripture says … God is in me. I will not fail!
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