Marrying Superman Does Not Make You Lois Lane

I married Superman. Well in my eyes he was Superman, come to find out he was an imposter. We met when my car broke down one morning before work and he came along and saved my day. Having car trouble has ALWAYS been my most despised issue and he just fixed it without the blink on an eye. It turned out to be a simple fix but he went to extraordinary measures to make sure I got to work on time and then set up a time to finish that evening.

Over the next few weeks he shared about the many damsels in distress (friends and previous relationships) he had rescued and I swooned because only a really good guy would spend so much time rescuing others. Only a really good guy would be so selfless. Only a really great guy …

I painted a picture in my mind based on his own words and the explanation of the situations he had single handedly turned around all out of the goodness of his heart and just like that I married him. I mean come on he had once married a woman to help her keep her child and detoxed her to get her off drugs. He had been a pivotal part of helping a woman “long time friend” receive the treatments she needed for breast cancer. He had rescued countless women with car issues and money issues and boyfriend issues. He was a “great guy” I just knew he was a blessing to me and I often referred to him as “my Superman.” It wasn’t so much that I was in great need of rescuing. I’d been single so long I really just wanted to know someone had me back when I needed them. Turns out that unlike the real Superman it was more about picking and choosing The Who and why and when he wanted to rescue me. I think in the end I was the wrong kind of damsel in distress. I couldn’t be fooled, I couldn’t be controlled and I figured it all out way too quickly. It wasn’t long before he became the villain in that particular chapter It wasn’t long before he started to be a major trigger to anxiety and panic attacks within me that he refused to acknowledge any part of. It wasn’t long before he began using my resources to play Superman to other women. It wasn’t long before I realized this was some really horribly mixed up comic book and where he once had me thinking I was Lois Lane I was now realizing I was nothing more than a means to the end of making him look good to those who would feed his egocentric narcissistic personality. It wasn’t long before I figured out I’d been played. Despite what I knew, I did my damndest to abide by the commitment i made, you know the love you forever one people usually vow to during a wedding ceremony but what I Came to realize is he was kryptonite to my very being. He sucked my emotions dry, my finances dry and had I continued he would have sucked my life dry.

Sadly the “Supermans” in life are rarely into rescuing others for the sake of the person they are rescuing. Instead, rescuing others is their claim to fame. It’s one more success story they can tell others about. It’s something to hold over someone’s head and it feeds the ego of boys. Don’t believe everything your told, Superman lies and hides in his cape. He is cunning and convincing and while some days it’s hard to believe you are your own super hero, a modern day Wonder Woman and so capable of rescuing yourself!

Sara Beth

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