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Day 1

I will be the first to tell you I’ve been down this road before … and by road I mean, I’ve started a blog. Well, actually I’ve started a couple and just eventually stopped writing. I can honestly say with my past blogs I was indecisive in the story I felt called to tell. Today, I at least know the direction I am heading and so a new journey begins and as the scripture says … God is in me. I will not fail!

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Know the truth

April is National Sexual Assault awareness month. I believe in education. I believe knowing the facts helps you not to become one of the statistics. If you are reading this and you are a survivor KNOW that you are not alone. Shame does not have to be your destiny! You have a voice and there are millions of your sisters who will stand beside you, stand behind you, they’ve gone before you! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

One in three women will experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime. 1 in 3? Three women in your family that means 1 of them will be sexually assaulted! One in Three!!!

One in six men will experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.

63 percent of sexual assaults are not reported to police. Why would someone who has been sexually assaulted NOT report it to the police? Fear, the person who assaulted them has threatened them in some way. For children this is easily done. This is the number 1 way to keep them quiet. Another reason one may not report sexual assault is that they don’t consider it to be assault. Perhaps it was date rape, perhaps they don’t recognize it as assault, it wasn’t violent and yet they were talked into something they didn’t want to do. Lastly, shame. The victim in someway feels like it is their fault. Perhaps she thinks her clothes were too provocative, or she flirted or lead him on. Whatever the reason that is OVER half of all sexual assaults are NOT reported.

More than 90 percent of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report the assault. This statistic is absolutely heartbreaking. College, its supposed to be the time of your life. I can only for a moment imagine that a sexual assault during those years will forever taint your college experience.

One in five women will be raped at some point in their lives. RAPED … have a violent invasive act performed against them. Held down, forced to allow a man to enter her body, possibly beat up or drugged. ONE IN FIVE …. Let that sink in.

One in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives and unfortunately the acts performed against them will sadly go mostly unnoticed.

51.1 percent of female rape victims reported being raped by an intimate partner. WHAT!? Someone she trusts, Someone she has already allowed to be intimate with her. WHY would he feel it necessary to violently force her against her will?

40.8 percent of female rape victims reported being raped by an acquaintance. Don’t let your guard down and for goodness sake women be careful who you introduce to your children

8 percent of rapes occurred while the victim is at work. The fact that this even happens baffles me.

Bottom line – This blog is for women so I will address you here …. IT IS NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER OK FOR SOMEONE TO FORCE YOU TO ALLOW THEM TO TOUCH YOU AGAINST YOUR WILL ! HEAR ME AGAIN … NEVER OK! Not your dad, your grandfather, your uncle, aunt, sister, mother, boyfriend, friends father, your husband, the guy who walked you back to your dorm room after class, the guy you’ve gone out with a couple of times, It is NEVER OK!

If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault and is seeking resources, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). If you are in immediate danger, call 911.  

These statistics all come from NSVRC

schoolin’ sara beth

Happy Ex-Spouse day!!!! Who knew they had such a thing!? So, I’ve been married twice, on my way to being divorced twice and that makes two ex-husbands and lots of lessons. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever say that I had … 2 ex-husbands. Broken relationships seem to be all I know BUT … with brokenness comes a new opportunity to mend and grow and that is exactly what I’ve done through the years. What I know about myself now is that I fall fast and for years I loved the free fall, I craved it like an adrenaline junkie. You know that new relationship feeling that gives you butterflies and goosebumps all at the same time. The one that makes you feel like you could fly. The one that gives you your highest highs and in a split second, your lowest lows. I’m learning to control the fall a bit. I believe it’s because I have so much to give. I want to love bigger than life and yet it escapes me. I am determined not to only find the break, not to only see the ache and the failure but to also realize the lessons I have the opportunity to learn along the way. I’d love to share just 5 of the many leason’s I’ve learned.

  1. There is NO MAN worth giving up yourself for. There are men who will drain the very life out of you. They will suck your spirit dry. They will take everything you are willing to give. Don’t give yourself up. Don’t change to make them like you. Don’t give even a piece of you up to be anything different than you have been created to be!
  2. In the end it boils down to this small fact, you only have control over you. You can’t make anyone like you, love you, respect you, care about you. You do you and in the end those meant to find you will.
  3. If a man wants you, he will make time for you. You won’t have to beg him or bribe him. He honestly won’t be able to get enough for you.
  4. If he loves you and recognizes your value, he will rid his life of anything that threatens his relationship with you.
  5. The fact that someone has chosen to loose you does NOT cheapen your value. Mourn the loss if you must but don’t you dare stay there! Pick your self up, wipe the tears and if you didn’t wear waterproof mascara, wipe the streaks off your face and reapply, shake it off and know that you know that you know …God is able to bring beauty from your ashes, you just have to be willing to hand them over.

Much Love! SB

American Idol, the best audition ever!

If you did not see “Kai the singer” on American Idol, and even if you did, you really should watch again.check out Kai the singer here

Image result for Kai the singer
Such a beautiful soul! I wish you all the best in the years to come!

It must be said … I really want to be like her when I grow up! I mean, it takes something in your depths to be able to view life and its many challenges like she does . I’m not talking about your everyday hardships. You know, like my credit card bill is due and I don’t know how I’m going to pay it or  We eatin’ beanie weenies for dinner all week before pay day. No, this girl said she and her family lived in their car and she was THANKFUL for the car!!! I am sure many, probably most of us Americans have a difficult time wrapping our head around that. I can only speak for myself and say I feel certain I unfortunately,  would probably not demonstrate the same attitude in that situation.

We as a society have become so accustomed to having our own space, our privacy, we don’t share our telephone and we have personal sized everything. That puts us in a really selfish mindset. Lord help me not to be selfish, help me not to forget all the blessings you have poured out over my life, help me to look at my world through the eyes of Kai the singer!

I also cannot end this without saying …. GREAT JOB MOM AND DAD! IT IS OBVIOUS THIS YOUNG LADY HAS HAD INCREDIBLE GUIDANCE.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Did you know it’s national PB&J day. I mean really, who knew there was such a thing! Who doesn’t love a good PB&J sandwich? Have you ever thought how many ways there are to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? There is a decision at every turn.

Step #1 the bread .. white or wheat? Does the bread matter to you? Do you prefer white squishy bread, crust-less or with crust? Step #2. What kind of peanut butter. There are a great many out there. The brands are endless. Not only do you have to decide on brand but once you have that figured out you also must decide if you want whipped, creamy, crunchy, natural? I personally prefer creamy Peter Pan. #peterpanpeanutbutter

Step#3 “buttering your bread. Do you “butter” 1 piece of bread or both. Do you use a spoon, meaning you really like that peanut butter thick or do you spread it thin with a knife? Do you go all the way to the edges for cut it a little short hoping to keep it neat and clean.

Step #4 OHHHH you then must decide, Jelly, Jam or honey? If you use jam or jelly, you have to determine the flavor you are in the mood for? I am a grape jelly girl all the way. Do you apply your jelly the same way you do your peanut butter. Thick or thin, 1 side or 2?

LET’S NOT LEAVE OUT THE FOLKS WHO MIX THEIR PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IN A BOWL BEFORE THEY SPREAD IT …. WEIRD, BUT I’VE HEARD OF IT.

Step #5 To cut or eat whole. If you decide to cut, how many pieces, do you cut it diagonal or vertical?

My perfect PB and J? Fresher than fresh white, squishy, bunny bread, Peter Pan Peanut Butter, creamy … “butter” both sides of the bread using a spoon and making sure it is thick, creating little divots for the jelly to sit in. Then and only then do I use a spoon to apply the jelly, cut it diagonal in 2 pieces and enjoy. Now who wants to talk about the multiple ways to eat a pbandj? Yeah … me either.

Side note … I made this PB&J for my little brother who is a PB&J expert … if you know me you know I don’t do Strawberry … ANYTHING … BLECH

So let’s hear it … how do you make your favorite peanut butter and jelly?

The funniest April Fools joke I ever did play.

There is not much I love more than a good prank. I’m not super great at pulling them off because I cannot lie myself out of a paper bag so any practical joke I play has to be quick and spontaneous not in any way involving conversation with the one being pranked. It also helps if they do not have to look at my face. I cannot for the life of me pretend like nothing is happening. SO, trying to convince someone I made it on American Idle, or something of the like is just OUT OF THE QUESTION.

However, there was this one year… The kids were all still at home and I’d been thinking for days about what I could do. You have to know that my Ethan is also a prankster.  He is often the one playing the jokes though. He loved nothing more than hiding behind a door, in a closet, under a blanket, behind a curtain with the full intention of jumping out at you when you least expect it. He started this very young and is full of ideas and unlike his mom he’s pretty good at pulling them off.

This particular April Fools though, the girls and I got him good! He never could have expected what we would do and while is sounds so simple, it was oh such sweet payback for the many years full of times he made my heart race. .  We completed the prank almost at the same time I thought of it. It was more than spontaneous. I did not think of if ahead of time, there was no planning, I simply said heres what here doing and we just went to it. Just like any other night, Ethan got in the shower and that’s when it came to me. I gathered the girls and explained what we would do They were game and we were all a bit giggle. After he’d been in there a bit, the girls and I banged on the door and yelled fire. This could have really backfired as I would be the one paying the doctors bill had he been injured. I heard it all happen in slow motion and while I was a little worried on the other side of the door imagining what could be happening in there I was belly laughing while the tears rolled down my face. I heard the frantic pull of the shower curtain as he stumbled out of the tub, slipping on the tile floor only to have his fist force a hole in the bathroom door. Yes that is right folks, in the spirit of playing a good joke I put my boy in danger and I have never laughed so hard in my life! When he opened the door , there we were the three of us standing  there with huge smiles on our faces, Ok who am I kidding …. We were all laughing hysterically. Not to mention the satisfaction of having finally gotten one over on him.


Faith Shaming vs. Love

Soooo, recently I was reading the IG of a beautiful woman who is LDS. I love her IG. PAUSE HERE FOR A SHOUTOUT TO @Whiteshantyathome – ya’ll go check her out. She is stylish and has the ability to make any room look homey and comfortable and lived in in the most beautiful way. She is very family oriented and her daughter had just made the decision to follow Jesus and mom was expressing how very happy this made her. I was glancing through the comments when I noticed a woman who had “catholic” in her username commented among other things “Praying you find truth”

I am neither LDS or Catholic. I do have friends from both faiths. We are able to discuss our beliefs, our love for God and our relationship with Jesus Christ. We are able to glean wisdom from one another and respect the fact that while we all may have a different interpretation of the Bible the one thing that is a common thread and draws us together is the fact that we love Jesus and have a deep desire to please God through our everyday actions with people we meet and our families.

You should know I lived many miserable years in legalism. If you were Mormon I didn’t read your blog, If you were Catholic I didn’t listen to your advice. If you had just 1 view point I didn’t agree with I discounted everything you had to say. Notice I said MISERABLE years! I was right and that was it. My church and church leaders were the authority and that was it. There was no other possibility. A devastating life event occurred and someone I love deeply left this earth. He was a teenager and suffered a great deal before going to live with Jesus. That event caused me to question EVERYTHING I believed and what God revealed to me is that I am called to Love. Plain and simple I am here to love you. No matter what religion you are, no matter whom you choose to love, no matter what sin you committed 10 minutes ago, no matter how you parent, no matter how you feed your kids, NO MATTER –  when the Lord brings us together in a common place, I am called to love you. Plain and simple. When Christ himself was asked by an expert of the law “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” he answered “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself” Luke 10:27

So I say … stop faith shaming! You my friend have nothing to fear. You will not be judged on your neighbors beliefs, or practices. However, I have a feeling God himself is watching to see just how much love, true heart felt, from the gut love we express to one another, different doctrines and all!